Courage

Recently (well, that is several months ago), I have changed the name of this blog from meaningless 'Not that important notes' to something that seems at worst equally meaningless, but probably less irrelevant. To make sense of it I should explain what I feel courage is.

 

First of all, there is the common meaning of the word 'courage' which deals with being not prone to fear. Because I am very diffident person it is sometimes quite difficult for me to share notes with other people - especially when it comes to the things written in English, since I know that my language skills are far from excellency. This way it turns out that while posting something to the blog - including this particular entry - I am in fact exercising my courage. The quality of being open to others and not afraid of sharing my thoughts and ideas is of great importance. I believe that the blog helps me foster this trait, so the new title apparently makes some sense.

 

 

 

On the other hand, writing itself allows me to better understand different aspects of the things I deal with in any area of my life as well as the ways I am dealing with them, thus directly or indirectly improving my decision making skills. This reminds me of the definition given by a samurai in Hagakure:

 

To rush in to the thick of battle and to be slain in it is easy enough, and the merest churl is equal to the task, but it is true courage to live when it is right to live, and to die only when it is right to die.

 

Although Hagakure is a book for warriors written by a warrior, the quote suggests that courage is not about being able to get into battle without any hesitation or fear. Instead it states that courage is more of an ability to know what to do next. Such a quality is as important for warriors as it is for software developers and for everybody else. Beside this, it is required and at the same time hard to master for me as a young man, because being a man, as opposed to a child, has a lot to do with making my own decisions and dealing with their consequences. Thus, as the blog is used to communicate ideas - and its title is not an exception of any kind - I am communicating an idea: courage is very important both for me and you.

 

One more quote encourages me to value courage so high:

 

Courage is a litmus paper for all other human qualities.

 

I am not sure where does this definition originate from and don't even remember who is its author. However, what I feel sure about is the fact that this blog may serve as a good test or indicator for all my personal traits.

Breaking a Habit

Sometimes one wants to change his or her own life in a dramatic way. The obvious fact here is that a sole desire to introduce significant changes is not enough. Moreover intelligence and wisdom are not enough too - when one want's to break a habit one needs to be strong.

You may suggest that you need the strength only to start changing your life and all the rest things will come easily, but such a thought proves to be a fallacy. After having successfully changed the things you wanted to change, when all the bridges seem burnt and the walls of smoke hide the unpleasant elements of your past - those same elements that you wanted to escape and forget - when you're relaxed and start enjoying the new life - when everything seems right and done, there comes a moment when you face a lack of confidence - a very simple question subtly rises from the distant depths of your mind. The question may sound like this:

"Have I done the right thing?"

However everything is still okay, because you quickly find an answer and feel happy and confident again. The only problem here is that from this particular moment a strange feeling accompanies you wherever you go. You can barely explain what does it mean or where does it come from, but a little later it conquers you and then you can see that the feeling is fear.

It's the fear of leaving the lands you know perfectly and entering the lands you've never seen before. It turns you blind, pulls you back, prompts immediate, unconscious actions. That's why you need a lot of strength to change your life - you need to be strong mainly to fight the fear of leaving a well-known road and such a fight is much harder than just making a first step off the track. 

Your own strength should keep you aware and prepared for the fight. This same strength should keep your eyes wide-open and mind clear - it is the only thing that can stop you from turning back when the fear fills you. Breaking a habit is not an easy task and accomplishment of such a task is a sign of a major inner strength.

However one should remember that the habits and the fears are means serving to protect a human being from harmful changes, but I am sure that one should better use his or her experience and clear mind for this purpose.